I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
