i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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