You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
