We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize