she was so not down for the gang bang
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I touched a dick in church today
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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