Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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