there's paper in my vomit.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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