In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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