What did we do last night that was yellow?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
