thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
