When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
