I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
