I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
