She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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