yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
