SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
