Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
