I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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