my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
