Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
