I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
