I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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