paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
