I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
