I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
