I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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