take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
