I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
