i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
