Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize