is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
