I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
