what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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