Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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