oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
