my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
