i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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