ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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