Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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