you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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