is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
