ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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