kristin has been a bad kristin
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
