would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
