Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
