At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have post one night stand depression
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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