ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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