And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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