I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize