so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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