i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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