There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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