I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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