Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
