I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
