I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
