at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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