Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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